Darkness
by evaernst
Summary: Prompt: Regina keeps doing heroic things to save people, everyone think that she's becoming a hero, but Emma (or Henry) realizes that she keeps getting herself in dangerous situations because she wants to die. SwanQueen!


**I'm not a native speaker and I'm sorry for all grammar and spelling mistakes. **

**Please read and review!**

Prompt: Regina keeps doing heroic things to save people, everyone think that she's becoming a hero, but Emma (or Henry) realizes that she keeps getting herself in dangerous situations because she wants to die.

"Long live Regina!" The people of Storybrook screamed. It seemed like the whole town was stuffed into the diner to celebrate Regina's most recent heroic action during the fire in the school. Without giving it another thought she'd run into the building ushering the little children out of their classrooms and out of the school. Thanks to Regina every child had survived and only a few had to be treated in the hospital with some minor burns. Regina on the other hand had suffered some more severe injuries that resulted in her having to stay a couple of days in hospital. That was also the reason why the party at Granny's diner in honor of Regina, the town's new hero, had to take place more than a week later. Saving the school children wasn't the first heroic action Regina had done, actually it was the latest incident in a row of incidents in which Regina had played a decisive role. And every time Regina had endangered her own life in order to save others and the town was celebrating her braveness.

"Okay, everyone, give her some space to breath!" Emma said laughingly. The sheriff was dressed in her infamous red leather jacket and her skin-tight jeans. Regina smiled at her gratefully. Normally she wasn't uncomfortable while being surrounded by large groups but today she wasn't up to it.

"Hey, Regina. You are our new hero, how does that feel?" Emma asked curiously. In the time after Neverland Regina and Emma had become quite close and in the end they were even able to agree on a shared-custody arrangement for their son Henry.

Regina only shrugged and absentminded played with the sleeves of her elegant dark red blouse. "It's okay." Her voice was small and Emma could hardly hear her over the noises in the diner.

"Regina, are you alright?" Emma asked worriedly. She placed a comforting hand on the brunette's shoulder and looked deeper into the brown eyes in front of her.

"Yes, I'm fine. I mean why shouldn't I? Everything is…fine, just fine." Regina answered her voice getting quieter and quieter until her last words were barely more than a whisper. To Emma this answer was not at all satisfying. "You know you can talk to me about everything. I'm not your enemy and I would even dare to say that you are my friend, okay?"

Regina nodded and gave her a quick smile. She just didn't seem like her former self, not at all powerful and in control. She looked small, innocent and very sad. Suddenly Ruby appeared next to them and pulled Emma towards the dance floor. Regina made her way over to a booth in the back and on her way grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass from behind the counter.

For a couple of minutes Regina enjoyed not having to talk to anybody about her heroic action. She was just too tired to do so. So tired. For a short moment Regina thought about going home and going to bed using some irrelevant excuse. But she quickly dismissed the thought. This was a party for her and wasn't this the attention she'd craved for all this time? Her train of thoughts was interrupted by a small boy squeezing in beside her.

"Hey Mom! I'm so proud of you! You've really changed, I'm so proud. Are you happy?" Henry rambled and Regina pulled him into a hug to prevent being obligated to answer Henry's question. To be honest she wouldn't be able to answer the question about her happiness. Her personal situation was better than before. Henry liked to spend time with her, she had a new friend in Emma and the townspeople didn't despise her anymore. But one the other hand her mother was dead, her past caused her nightmares so that every night she woke up screaming and she was still all alone in her mansion because Henry was still living with Emma. Every night when she laid awake in her bed staring out of the window crying herself to sleep she felt the darkness pressing down on her. It seemed to press down on her until she could hardly breathe anymore. In those moments she felt like she couldn't live on like this. She needed someone near her, someone to hug her and someone to fight the darkness crushing down on her.

"I'm fine Henry" Regina answered and Henry seemed to be satisfied with the answer. Actually she had told a lot of people lately that she was fine, repeating it like a mantra hoping that in the end she would believe it herself and that her life could finally continue in some kind of normalcy.

"Are you sure mom? You don't look happy although you should. You've saved so many people last week! You've finally redeemed yourself! I've seen you and Kathryn talking earlier are you friends again?" Henry asked excitedly and Regina laughed quietly. He was so naïve to really believe that she had already redeemed herself. The amount of lives she'd saved were nothing compared to the amount of lives she had destroyed during her times of being the Evil Queen.

"I'm fine"

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ

It was already past midnight when Regina left the diner and headed home. Emma and Henry had decided to go home a couple of minutes ago and Regina saw no sense in staying any longer as well. She walked down the deserted streets of Storybrook when she suddenly heart noises. She walked around the corner and saw a truck nearing. It was driving way too fast for the narrow street. That wouldn't have been too bad if not suddenly Pongo came running down the streets. Regina drew in sharp breath when she saw Pongo running across the street. Without giving it a second thought she started running herself. It was a miracle that she actually got to the dog in time. She managed to shove him aside when suddenly out of the corner of her eyes she saw the truck. Too close. Too fast.

'Maybe that's it. Maybe finally that's the end' That was the last thing before Regina experienced an unbelievable pain and darkness clouding her vision. She was unconscious before she even hit the road.

It was Archie looking for his dog that found Regina lying on the street guarded by a whining Pongo. There was no sight of the truck only a badly hurt woman willing to sacrifice her life for a dog.

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ

"Kid, go right up and brush your teeth, alright?" Emma asked and started on her nightly routine as well when suddenly the quietness of their apartment was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Emma frowned and picked up the phone having the dim feeling that something wasn't right.

"Sheriff Swan"

"Emma? Hi, it's Archie. I need you to come to the hospital. Regina got hit by a truck because she saved Pongo. Really Emma, you need to hurry! The driver hit and ran." Emma froze. Regina.

"Archie, listen, I'm on my way. I'm coming to the hospital as fast as I can, okay?" Without waiting for an answer Emma hung up and made her way out of her apartment. On her way she called her parents asking them to look after Henry until she'd come back.

In less than ten minutes she had reached the hospital. She stormed through the emergency entry and saw already Archie moving towards her.

"Emma, thank god you're here. Dr. Whale wants to talk to you." He explained and in that moment Dr. Whale entered the waiting room and motioned for Emma to follow him. They entered room 301. On the bed dressed in one of those horrible hospital dresses laid Regina looking just as white as the wall. Her eyes were closed and the machine next her bed beeped rhythmically.

"How is she?" Emma asked worried.

"She was lucky. There were some internal bleedings and several broken bones including several broken ribs, a sprained wrist and a broken leg but no permanent damage. We were able to stop the bleedings but she still has to stay for about two weeks." Emma nodded and ran her hand through her curly hair.

"Okay, thank you Dr. Whale." He nodded only and left the room. Emma sat down next to Regina and took her hand. Unconsciously she let her thumb run over the back of Regina's hand in a comforting motion.

"Hey there Regina, come on wake up. You're such a strong woman, come one wake up and talk to me." Emma whispered quietly. For a short moment she allowed herself to close her eyes and take a deep breath. Something wasn't right. This was not the Regina she'd gotten to know when she came to Storybrook but this was also not the woman who started having a conscience after the curse broke. Now lying in front of her Regina seemed more like a small child, fragile and innocent and incredible lonely. This woman was all new to Emma.

The room was dark when Emma next opened her eyes. She must have fallen asleep. She was still sitting on the uncomfortable hospital chair holding Regina's hand. It took Emma a moment to realize what had woken her up. Regina was trashing violently in her sleep whimpering quietly.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry. Please don..don't. Henry…Emma. Sorry…"

"Regina!" Emma started shaking Regina gently to wake her up. For a moment Regina stopped then she stirred and rubbed her eyes.

"Regina, are you alright? Are you in pain? Shall I get a nurse?" Emma asked quietly and unconsciously caressed her cheek. Regina just shook her head. Silent tears were running down her pale cheeks.

"Hey, shhh, don't cry. Please. What's wrong?"

"I…I can't take this anymore. I can't."

In that moment it hit Emma right in the face. Of course.

"That's why you endanger your life, right? Next to wanting to save others you hope that…it won't end well for you, because you can't take it anymore?" Emma asked cautiously hoping for once to be wrong.

Regina didn't respond and just turned her head and faced the wall. Suddenly Emma felt a single tear running down her cheek as well. During their time in Neverland they had bonded over their fear of losing Henry and Emma had grown quite fond of Regina. Very fond to be exact.

Emma took Regina's hand in hers. "Regina, please look at me. We are friends, you can trust me. I won't judge you. Tell me what keeps you up at night. What bothers you, Regina?"

Emma went quiet hoping that she hadn't overstepped a boundary when suddenly Regina turned her head facing her once more.

"I can trust you?" She asked carefully. Emma nodded only.

Regina took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Then she started talking. Talking about everything she didn't even dare to remember. Things she did but also things that were done to her. Things so horrible that she couldn't sleep at night. For the first time in over thirty years she allowed herself to find comfort in the presence of another human being. She couldn't remember the last time when someone listened to her willingly. She was so glad to have Emma. Maybe her mother would claim this to be weakness but to her Emma was her life-saver to keep her from drowning in her darkness.

Emma listened. She did not once interrupt Regina. When her emotions overwhelmed the brunette Emma stroked her hair and brushed her tears away. It was a couple of hours later when Regina stopped talking and waited for Emma to stand up and leave.

'She will leave but how can I blame her. How could she ever like me after all the things I just revealed about me?' Regina thought to herself.

Instead of leaving Emma stood up and climbed onto the bed and crawled under the blanket and hugged Regina.

"Emma, what are you doing? How can you stand to be near me when I've done such horrible things, when I destroyed your life. I could understand if you want to leave me."

"Do you want me to leave?" Regina looked at Emma. Then she leaned forward and rested her head in the crook of Emma's neck. Sobs shook her little form and she had never looked more fragile and small to the blonde.

"Please don't leave me. Please…Emma, please." Regina whimpered and grabbed Emma's arm in a death grip.

"Ouch" Emma laughed quietly and pulled the brunette closer. "I won't leave you, I promise. I will never leave you."

The next time she looked at Regina the older woman had fallen asleep. Emma closed her eyes as well and drifted into a dreamless slumber.

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ

When Emma opened her eyes she was looking directly in the deep brown eyes of a very broken Regina Mills.

"Hey" Emma said and Regina smiled back. Her smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Good morning, did you sleep well?" Emma shrugged and sat up. She ran one hand through her hair easing out some knots.

"Regina, you need help." Regina closed her eyes and turned away.

'Here we are again' Emma thought and put a reassuring hand on Regina's shoulder.

"Regina, telling you this is not my way of running away from you and also from my responsibilities, quite the opposite in fact. I want to help you. I want you to overcome all the things that haunt you. I know that you believe that you can't be redeemed but that's wrong. I know you can because in your heart you are good. And good always wins, right Regina?" This time Regina's smile reached her eyes.

"Will you stay with me?" Regina asked. Emma nodded.

"Then I'll accept help. As soon as I'm home I'm going to make an appointment with Dr. Hopper."

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQ

A couple of days later Regina was released. Her injuries had not been as severe as it appeared in the beginning and therefore she was allowed to go home if she promised to take it slow. Emma had volunteered to temporarily move in with her to look after her.

While Emma drove them to Regina's mansion nobody spoke a word. When the vehicle came to a halt in front of the house Regina spoke for the first time.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this for me? Why are you helping me?" Emma was quiet for a minute.

"Because I care about you."

"Why?"

"Oh, Regina you are worse than a four year old kid. I mean why not, I like you okay? You are Henry's mother and he would be devastated if something happened to you." For a moment sadness flickered over Regina's beautiful face.

"I understand." Regina answered and got out of the car. Her voice was cold as ice. She grabbed the crutches from the back seat and limped towards the front door. Emma quickly caught up with her.

"There's something else Regina. I would be devastated as well…if something happened to you, I mean."

"Thank you Emma. I appreciate it very much."

Quickly they entered the house and Emma made Regina settle down on the couch immediately.

"You are going to stay here and I'm going to make us some dinner, alright?" Regina raise one perfect eyebrow questionably.

"What? I can cook. I know you think I can't but in fact I'm a very good cook. You will see!" Emma said and left the living-room. Regina shook her head laughingly.

Half an hour later the bell rang, it was Henry. He immediately stormed towards his brunette mother and hugged her tightly. Both his mothers had decided that they wouldn't tell their son about Regina's problems and just present her heroic saving of Pongo as just another thing the good Regina would do.

"Mom, I'm so proud of you, so proud. Thank you! I love you so much! Are you okay again? Snow said that you were lucky and I'm so glad about it. I don't want you to be hurt, you know that, mom, don't you?"

Regina laughed quietly and nodded. She knew that he loved her. For quite some time she had doubted his feelings for her but he was only ten. She knew now that he loved her and that was all that mattered.

"I love you too, Henry."

Emma entered the room and went over to Regina and Henry and told them that dinner was ready. The three of them settled down around the huge dining table.

"What's for dinner?" Henry asked curiously.

"Home-made Pizza and a green salad" Emma answered and placed a plate in front of each of them.

"I have to admit that I'm impressed, Emma." Regina admitted after taking her first bite.

"Thank you, your Majesty. But what do you think I'm feeding our son while you are not around?" Emma asked.

"Granny's?" Regina answered a little unsure.

"No, I would never do that!"

"Emma, don't lie. We eat there at least once a day." Henry rolled his eye.

"Henry, don't stab my back!"

The rest of the evening was spent in a relaxed atmosphere.

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQS

When Emma opened her eyes the next morning she left the guest room and went downstairs. Even before she entered the kitchen she could hear Regina talking to someone.

"Thank you, I'll come over to you later. Good bye." Regina hung up and turned around facing Emma.

"Good morning, sleepy head." Regina smiled.

"'d morning. Where will you go in the afternoon?"

"Dr. Hopper. I promised to make an appointment, don't you remember?"

"Of course I do, Regina. I really think this was the right thing to do. You will see, everything's going to be fine." Emma said and hugged the brunette in front of her.

"yes, yes I think so too. I still have a long way to go but you know, finally I have the feeling as if everything can be fine again. Thank you Emma."

Emma sat down next to Regina on the couch and took the brunette's hand in her own.

"You are welcome. I want you to be okay because I care about you."

Before either of them knew what was happening their lips touched in a gentle but passionate kiss. Warmth flooded their bodies and Regina had the feeling that her heart might explode from happiness. They only broke apart when the need for air became too overwhelming.

"Wow…that was… wow" Emma said breathlessly.

"Very eloquently put, my dear, but I agree. Wow" Regina laughed quietly and leaned her head against Emma's shoulder.

"Do you regret it?" the older woman suddenly asked sounding insecure.

Thoughtfully Emma shook her head and looked Regina directly in the eye.

"Me neither." Regina said and closed her eyes.

Truly there was a long way for them to go but she wasn't alone anymore. She would never be alone again.

**I hope you liked the story and please feel free to tell me what you think!**


End file.
